Author: Penny Hayes

Penny is endlessly curious, questioning and passionate about finding out how and why things and people work. Throughout her healing journey, she has developed a keen eye, enquiring mind and open heart and in this book shares her observations for others’ growth, healing or plain entertainment! She has spent the last ten years working on this book and is excited about finally sharing the fruits of her passion with the world. Her poetry will make you laugh, cry, touch your heart and compassion, inspire and motivate you – and an entire range of feelings in between.

The rain’s crying the tears I can’t quite shed.
I’m too busy holding myself together.
Yet beneath my prison of steely ribs
my little child is weeping and trembling.
I can keep locking her in her room,
bribing her with numbing food,
giving her a lecture on behaving like an adult.
But how crazy is that?
For she is my greatest heroine,
the repository of my deepest feelings.
I must build an altar to her,
to her jeweled tears and open bleeding heart.
She is both my tenderness and my strength.

The ‘and’ is in my hands.
It’s not either or,
not a solo versus a chorus,
not a quiet soliloquy
versus a stirring discourse,
not a still stream or rough storm.
It’s all choices, all ways of being.
Whether it’s spirit in heavenly ether
or spirit as human ego on earth,
the reality is, it’s still me, her agent,
steering and driving my energy vehicle,
bringing in the elements as needed
to experiment and manifest with,
and express spirit in her many forms,
as I learn to know myself more and more
and enjoy the ride of my life.
I see how every one of us is the creator,
the true one who sits in our heart,
gently moving our hands up and down,
bringing spirit down into form
or human form up into spirit,
to meet and fall in love again and again.

I close off and you open to me more.
I resist you and you just soften and adore.
I want to run away and you hold me to you
with such patience and understanding..
Your consciousness is so astute and deep,
its eye penetrates me and I can’t hide.
Your heart is so wide, it envelops me.
Your passion for truth so huge, it consumes me.
Thank you God for never giving up on me.

So take every bit of me I’ve been holding back,
Take it all, for you, for me, for the universe,
and the exquisite pleasure of serving.
Spirit, take my fingers.
Let them play your melody.
Take my open heart
Bathe in my blood.
Take my solid feet.
Let them walk your path.
Take my identity and form.
Let them bow down to you.
Take my voice,
so it speaks only your truth.
Take my eyes
till all I see is you.
Take me deep into you,
till I truly know I’m an animation of you,
until your spirit and my form,
unite in love to pulse as one.
There is no other; only oneness’ wonder.

I want a map, a plan,
a perfect guarantee,
that where I’m going,
I’ll be safe and free.
But the only way to go
into the unknown and be safe,
is to go there wholeheartedly
with my full presence and being.

Then I dissolve fully into sweet Spirit,
to experience the flutters in my stomach
turning into gentle waves of peace.
My tight jaw becomes an open mouth
swallowing the whole river of love.
Eyes that looked suspiciously,
now sparkle deliciously.
Even the air around and in me
is clear, light and free.
And where is my mind?
It’s gone out to sea.

My mind makes shadows in the light,
then judges them as deficient,
while light smiles on every shadow,
claiming them as her own.
Can I be the light that I truly am,
and bring all my shadows home?
Can I value truth more than comfort,
love more than appearance,
wisdom more than intellectual knowledge,
gratitude more than gratification?
Can I not run away from human irritation,
but know it’s earth’s sand making the pearl?
Can I value life in all her shapes and guises,
to see the light shining out of every crack and line?
Can I, in short, remember that we’re all God’s light;
and we are all here, in human form,
to help each other realize that.

As much as I can,
I’ll be the love I yearn for,
the gentle hands I search for,
the shatterer of stuck old patterns,
the transformation worth burning for.
I’ll be the heart bursting out,
the skin unzipping itself,
the horizon I must jump into,
the enemy I must hug and forgive,
the baby I must birth,
the new bud that must emerge,
the song I must sing,
the dance that takes over my limbs,
the poem written in my blood,
the sacrifice to the altar of me,
the eyes surrendering to mystery,
yet also opening to reality,
the smile stretching to infinity,
the responsibility that strangely brings freedom,
the seeker continually becoming the server,
love that has found her arms and legs,
the earth in every cell, the universe in every space,
the masculine and feminine bowing to each other,
manifesting love consciousness in every form and place.

From the continually dying of ego,
from the dark cinders of sacrificed old ways,
from shed tears that have evaporated,
emerges the new man, naked in his truth.
Soft and pink in his vulnerability,
he now reaches out to connect
for no other reason than he must
follow the impulse of his new tender heart,
and through his raw humour and courage,
move us all ever closer to love.

Dare to go there even when you’re afraid.
Face the fear and burn the old away.
Know you are the flame of God,
the fire on the mountain top,
the love that can stand no wrong.
So come on baby light that fire.

The sacred land chokes in its own dust
A hole in the sky is slowly frying us
But worse is the drying up inside
as the power hungry critic
feeds our dreams to the fires, laughing.
When will the phoenix rise from the ashes?

You sat there, a square box,
with sharp edges,
a mysterious package,
with such hidden treasures,
wrapped in a satin red ribbon,
secretly longing to be untied.
I helped you undo the bow,
bringing you out of your corner,
so that over the edge you could go.
We were both a bit scared
of what we might come to know.
It might be an ugly monster,
which we couldn’t contain,
or a squelchy lump of snot,
we must love anyway,
or some awful truth
that could cause such pain.
Yet when we follow fate’s flaming red thread,
it’s always more wonderful than it seems.
It wakes us from the dead,
enables us to follow our dreams.
The part so long trapped inside
is as enchanting as any child.
It dances with such fiery glee,
saying see I’m wild and free.
Hey just look at me.
Why I’m beautiful!